update. My biggest thinspo :)

Just wanted to tell where I am now in my progres. No pictures..  Now, I'm like back to the biginning, which means around 121 lbs/ 55 kg... :( Feeling fat and ugly. I just decided I need to go to the store and buy some baby food - yes baby food! Ever heard of KISSIE? (no it's not about kissing..) It's the biggest blogger in Sweden, (neighbour contry to Norway) her name is Alexandra Nilsson and she goes under her blog's name; KISSIE http://www.kissies.se/  :-) She has lost alot of weight the last months!!! Take a look!  Anyway, what I was going to say, was that Kissie is dieting on baby food! Yep, baby food. Porridge and stuff, and I have decided to try it;) I need to have small meals with little calories at home, or else I end up like this morning, making omelet... :/

Look at all this... THINSPO.. <3

 This is Alexandra Nilsson aka KISSIE - Swedens biggest blogger: (and yes she has alot of silicone...)

 

She is very Barbie-ish! But I think she's cute, and I love her pink style;) But her boobs are too big though:S But, she's skinny indeed! And she has not always been this skinny, oh no. She's my thinspo<3

My Diet pills!

I have been using my diet pills for 7 days now.. I don't feel much difference since I've binged almost every day:(        Today I have to stop that!!


Are you using diet pills? Which type?
 

w.h.e.r.e ?

I have totally lost my self control.. It's so sad. I reached 117 lbs the 19th of april.. and now, 29th of may, I just fat... :'( I will not wear my bikini for a while.. that is for sure!  God damn it:( It soon summer.. gahhh! :@

                                    w.o.w <3

Barely alive.... on the inside.

 

That's like.. me now.    :(

I want this tee! And this BODY! ;)

Skinny tanned beauty.

Been binging for a couple of days (weeks) now... ;'( I'm hurting inside.. Help me someone...

The world of Mia

I just discovered the  world of  MIA...

I actually managed to throw up by force for the first time, it was the 5th of May - I have never managed that before..! Maybe I've been too scared, dunno.. I don't know, but it's like I've got a lifeboat now. I can manage it through the craving days. If you get thinner by purging - I do not know.. but you sure empty your stomack more or less, and that helps, at least for the anxiety..

I'm not like totaly lost, but I do feel like a fat ugly pig when I've binged. I just want to cut up my stomack and take everything out! Been using Dulcolax before.. It works exactly 12 hours after taken the pills.. so if you binge around 9 pm, you'll need to use the bathroom around 08.30 am the next day. Depending on how much you had the day before - you might have to go several times to the toilet. I get kinda stomack ache - but at least it gets out, and without the body taking up too much of all the calories...

 This has kinda gotten me to the head now.. :S I can't stop thinking of food.. Right now I'm just fat! I'm sick, like flue sick now.. And I binged.. My throut is alredy soar, so I could not purge.. :( I'm fat. Again.



P.S. Don't do thins at home.    ..Okeey we skip that part-.- do whatever at home;-) Sorry for bad update on YouTube - if anybody is following me there?? Would love hear from my readers! XoXo





 yours

Happy summer inspiration!

I was looking at a thinspo picture - site and came across a load of happy summer thinspo<3 It makes me so motivated and inspirated to see pics like this. I'm smiling right now:-) It reminds me why I'm fighting against all the food that's surrounds me every day.. And inspire me to lose all those pounds so I can walk around, lite as a feather in my favourit bikini when the summer is here for real, and feel the sun touchig my fragile tanned skin like a lover! <3

Don't you just want to go out under the sun and lose some pounds after seeing this?!! :-D

 

Make summer 2011 something worth looking back at!;) "The summer everything canged for the better!"

Yours truly,

I made it! ...I threw up...

Good morning there! Long time no see.. :/

Right now its 08:30 am here in Norway, and I just got up from bed.. free day today, just a meeting at 12 am.
I'm waiting for the klock to turn 09.00 am.. that's when the laxative pill will work! Before and in the Easter time, I made it 8 days on the track! 8 days - I'm proud! ;-) But after that I failed, I started eating more.. binged for 3 days.. made it in two days. Then, yesterday was my 6th day binging... BUT, I finally managed to throw up.. not everything, but alot! I have never managed to throw up before. Ofc if I was sick or so, but never before made myself do it. That'll be my weapond for now - and ofc my laxative pills. But I hope I will stay on track from this day, the 6th of may 2011. <'3

I hope. I will. I want.